Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
