Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
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