watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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