sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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