babies were throwing up all over the place
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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