she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Randomize
