he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
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