this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
