What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
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when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
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When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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