did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize