I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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