we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
