I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
