I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
