i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
