Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
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