New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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