Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
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