In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
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You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize