Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
where am i from again
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
