So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize