okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Pants are for mortals
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
