In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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