i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Randomize
