Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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