WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
