So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
the room spins SO much faster in panama
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Randomize
