I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
