"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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