garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
They took my balls.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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