I didn't shave. On purpose
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
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