white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
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