just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Randomize
