We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize