you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize