You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
