it's too hot outside to masturbate.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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