Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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