you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
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