I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
