I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Randomize
