Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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