stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
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