The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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