i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize
