kristin has been a bad kristin
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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