I showed him my bush... on skype.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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