youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
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