Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
