Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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