Please, let me fuck your mom
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
