...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
