I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
where am i from again
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
