I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
he thought i was a dude.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
