I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
