i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Randomize
