i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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