I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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