I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Reggie can tackle my bush.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
