So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
