Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
