thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
