Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
It was a blind-side dick pic.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
