he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
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