Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
